Update on Baby Number 2

So the ball is rolling on our second adoption.
Is it easier the second time around?  Yes and no.  We are doing a different adoption, although the child might come from the UN Unaccompanied Minor Refugee program, it is processed as a foster care adoption.
For Gabika's adoption, I felt righteously indignant when numerous phone calls and e-mails were not returned by the home study agency- after all, we were paying them a lot of money.  Since this adoption is processed through foster care the fees associated are significantly lower and the social worker isn't working for us, but rather for the agency the social worker has little incentive to cooperate.  (One might say that finding a child a loving, permanent home is an incentive...)

"Patience is a virtue" is a mantra I frequently repeat to Gabika, now I must live by as well.  After the initial meeting, the social worker asked us to meet him at their office at 8am later that week to pick up our packet of paperwork.  We showed up to a locked building- literally not one employee had shown up to work that morning.  After numerous phone calls, we were able to get him on the line.  Very apologetic, he said he could drop the packet off at our house later that week.  2 weeks later, still no packet- he e-mails me a packet.  Why we had to take off work and school to go to the office in the first place if the packet could simply be e-mailed is a question better left unasked.  That the packet was incomplete is a whole other issue.

Yes, the ball is rolling on our second adoption, but it might be rolling up hill.

Bulgarian Adoptee Needs Kidney Transplant

Gavin, a 7 year old, adopted to the United States by a military family needs a kidney transplant.
Click here to see his interview on NBC.
Gabika's caseworker has offered to donate her kidney, since neither adoptive parent was a match, but unfortunately she was not a match either.  Please go to their Go Fund Me to contribute, they are only $500 short of their goal.
Gavin's story, though not atypical of Eastern European orphans, is difficult to imagine.  This little guy was in a crumbling orphanage where workers didn't even realize he was deaf, among other medical issues.  He was identified for international adoption and placed on Reese's Rainbow.  He was adopted by an American military family when he was six years old.
Gavin- mnogo kusmet, lybov and nadezheda!  We hope you find a donor and have a happy, fulfilling life!

The Mongolian Spot

It's funny that something so common place could be so completely unknown to so many Americans. 
Gabika has a blue tinged birth mark on her lower back.  These are known as Mongolian spots and are very common in non-white children.  In fact, according to the UK's National Health Service:
"Mongolian blue spots are rare in children of white European background, but very common in children of African, Middle Eastern, Mediterranean or Asian background. As many as three-quarters of children from these ethnic groups are born with Mongolian blue spots."  The typically develop on the baby's lumbar region or their bottom but disappear on their own by the time the child is school aged.  It can be very blue- like this baby

 

Or more similiar to the baby's skin tone, like Gabika's:

It's interesting that nearly 75% of non-white babies are born with a Mongolian spot, but that they are still mistaken for a bruise many people who work with children,  Gabika's teacher sent her to the nurse because she was concerned about the mark, luckily the nurse is not white and recognized the mark right away.  There is little awareness of these spots by Caucasian Americans, and the color and location would indicate bruising and abuse. 
The children in the school are predominately not white, so I am glad that the teacher is aware of these birthmarks.  But as a former employee of this school district, I am glad to see that principals and social workers are now taking teacher's concerns about the safety of their students' home circumstances more seriously.  Even if they have to ruffle a few feathers. 

The Birthday Song

We took custody of our pumpkin on her third birthday.  It was an emotional day for everyone.  Her foster mother cared for her as if she were her own daughter- she had Gabika for since she was released from the hospital after birth.  It was hard to see her go.  We were about to become parents. 

Last week Gabika celebrated her fourth birthday and her first in America.  A few weeks ago when a classmate celebrated a birthday at school, she came home talking about the birthday song.  I told her: "You know, in a few weeks it will be your birthday.  They'll sing to you."
With an amazed smile she responded, "they gonna sing to me?"

"Yes, pumpkin, they are going to sing to you."

On January 30th 2013

It's hard to believe it was a year ago...
Although we were tired from the flights and the 9 hour layover, it wasn't easy to sleep the night of the 29th.  After a quick breakfast and a 2 hour snowy drive, we would finally meet her...
I took these three pictures with and sent them to our family and friends.

Looking for the stork... Take 2

It's hard to believe a year ago today we were packing for our trip to Hungary.  I spent countless hours packing, repacking, weighing suitcases.  We even had a plan to slip one more piece of luggage by the gate checkers.  There was no way we could pack 2 adults, 1 baby of indeterminate size, stroller and car seat in the luggage allotment for 2 adults.  Chris planned to push the empty stroller up to gate check alone hoping the handlers would assume baby was with mom.  Luckily, the ticket checkers at Aeroflot let us check everything- after a panicked "where's the baby!" from the attendant, we explained we were going to get her and everything was checked.  (Though they broke the car seat in cargo.)

Well, here we go again!
Last week we met with a social worker for adoption number two.  We planned to adopt from foster care domestically.  We are requesting a child under 4, so our pumpkin stays the oldest child. 
When meeting with the social worker, he indicated we would be well suited, as Returned Peace Corps Volunteers (RPCVs), to the Unaccompanied Refugee Minor  program (URM).  This program identifies children who have lost one or both parents administered through the United Nations; who cannot be cared for in their home countries due to instability, natural disaster or war.  The children are granted special visas and come into the domestic foster care system.  You can read more about it from the US Department of Health and Human Services, the agency that overseas the program's administration. 
They have seen an increasing number of referrals for this program and hope to find more families to adopt them.  Families must complete foster care parenting and additional trainings. 
We will start our training in a few months, the paperwork has begun.  We won't know if the child will come from domestic foster care or the URM program for some time.  But once the child is identified, we won't have much time from matching to placement.  Sometimes is can be a few months but some children are sent to their foster/ future adoptive homes within a week of matching. 

One Year Ago

Last October on a Friday afternoon I got that call...
I honestly hadn't been preoccupied with work and getting our documents together.  We were still preparing our dossier for Bulgaria.  There were still a few more documents to track down before we sent it out to Children's House.  They would then send it to be translated and then we would begin to wait for the MOJ. 
Only, it didn't happen that way.
Chris had the car.  He had gone to the mountains to go climbing with some friends.  It was Columbus Day weekend and they had 3 days off work.  I was getting a ride home with a collegue.  My phone rings.
"Can we send you a picture?  I know you have a strong connection to Bulgaria- but would you consider this little one?"
A girl..from Hungary.. this was rare.  There are more boys in orphanages around the world and Hungary only did 4 adoptions to the United States in 2011 (the latest information available to me at the time).
I had to track down Chris- no cell phone service, no land line to reach him at. 
I opened my e-mail and saw this smiling face.

And the rest is history.