Showing posts with label adopted grandchildren. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adopted grandchildren. Show all posts
Monday, March 26, 2012
Lives Touched by Adoption
Before I started my adoption journey, I knew several people whose lives had been touched by adoption. I knew one colleague had adopted from Russia, one from Russia and China. One colleague has several domestically adopted grandchildren. I grew up with friends who had been adopted domestically and from Korea. Its interesting, now that we are adopting, many people share with us how they have been touched by adoption. A friend and colleague shared, last Friday, that two of her kids are adopted- one through foster care. I learned today of another colleague whose daughter was adopted. I love hearing other people's adoption stories- the wait, the paperwork, the struggles, but everyone agrees it was worth it. All different children need placements for adoption, all races, backgrounds, abilities and needs and all ages. We're excited to be a part of it.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Sharing the News
Announcing you are pregnant is usually met with congratulations and joy (unless of course you are too young or didn't intend on getting pregnant.) Announcing to people that you are going adopt isn't always met the same way.
I was reading You Can Adopt! by the authors of Adoptive Families Magazine, and they said most people respond in one of two ways- they either share that they were adopted or have adopted, or tell you something about adoption, though they have no first hand experience with it, which can often be unkind. I don't think most people mean to be unkind, but someone sharing that they have started the adoption process should be celebrated- its a joyful moment.
The first person I told was my friend Mary because I knew she would be supportive, and she was. I'm glad I told her first, it gave me the confidence to tell others who wouldn't be so welcoming. I told her that my husband and I were thinking about adoption, she said "are you going to adopt from Bulgaria?" She thought we would look into Bulgarian adoption because our connections to that country. She was happy and excited for us. Our families were supportive too, my husband mother said she would "love an adopted grandkid just as much as a biological one."
Other people's response isn't so kind. They often respond by saying "why don't you adopt from America, there are perfectly good kids here." That's true, and I hope they find forever families. I don't want American kids, or any children to lose their parents or be born into an unsafe or unloving home- but we can't adopt them all. We are considering fostering to adopt, just because we adopt one child from Bulgaria, doesn't mean we have ruled all other possibilities out.
Other people say "if I couldn't have kids, I would adopt one with disabilities." You can still adopt children even if you can and do have your own. We aren't ruling out all children with disabilities, we know what we can manage and certain disabilities would be beyond our capabilities. For instance, our house is not accessible by wheelchair and we both need to work, so we can't provide adequate care for a child who needs constant monitoring. Of course, like with pregnancy, you can't predict what a child will develop as he or she grows up, but we can only address that situation when it arises.
Part of my motivation for writing this blog is to show people what the adoption process is like, and maybe inspire a few to adopt. We aren't adopting to "save" a child, we want to have a family and this is the best way for us to do it.
I was reading You Can Adopt! by the authors of Adoptive Families Magazine, and they said most people respond in one of two ways- they either share that they were adopted or have adopted, or tell you something about adoption, though they have no first hand experience with it, which can often be unkind. I don't think most people mean to be unkind, but someone sharing that they have started the adoption process should be celebrated- its a joyful moment.
The first person I told was my friend Mary because I knew she would be supportive, and she was. I'm glad I told her first, it gave me the confidence to tell others who wouldn't be so welcoming. I told her that my husband and I were thinking about adoption, she said "are you going to adopt from Bulgaria?" She thought we would look into Bulgarian adoption because our connections to that country. She was happy and excited for us. Our families were supportive too, my husband mother said she would "love an adopted grandkid just as much as a biological one."
Other people's response isn't so kind. They often respond by saying "why don't you adopt from America, there are perfectly good kids here." That's true, and I hope they find forever families. I don't want American kids, or any children to lose their parents or be born into an unsafe or unloving home- but we can't adopt them all. We are considering fostering to adopt, just because we adopt one child from Bulgaria, doesn't mean we have ruled all other possibilities out.
Other people say "if I couldn't have kids, I would adopt one with disabilities." You can still adopt children even if you can and do have your own. We aren't ruling out all children with disabilities, we know what we can manage and certain disabilities would be beyond our capabilities. For instance, our house is not accessible by wheelchair and we both need to work, so we can't provide adequate care for a child who needs constant monitoring. Of course, like with pregnancy, you can't predict what a child will develop as he or she grows up, but we can only address that situation when it arises.
Part of my motivation for writing this blog is to show people what the adoption process is like, and maybe inspire a few to adopt. We aren't adopting to "save" a child, we want to have a family and this is the best way for us to do it.
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