Emotional Roller Coaster of the "Paperwork Pregnancy"

When you are pregnant, you are given some leeway on your emotions.  My friend M was pregnant with her first, and she and her husband went for a walk.  She said to him "oh, it feels good to go out and get some exercise," and he said "I wouldn't call this exercise."  Needless to say, she was upset.  Anyone could see why, she was feeling out of sorts in her new shape.  She was a typically outgoing and active person, and she'd been feeling a bit trapped by her new mobility challenges.  Of course she and her husband worked it out, but its easy to chalk it up to hormones, physical changes, etc. 
Sometimes I feel like I want to scream, yell and bang my fists on the table- but then I would just be an irrational lunatic.
On Monday, we were returning from a fantastic, relaxing trip to the beach when my sister made an offhanded comment about our financial situation concerning the adoption.  "You're always looking for a handout- that's what this tag sale is all about."  Well, we had been traveling in my car, so I was ready to leave her at the side of the road.  Luckily, calmer heads prevailed and Chris stated "What are we supposed to do- get second jobs?" 
Now that I've had a chance to calm down, I'm not angry- I won't be leaving anyone to hitchhike across the Bay Bridge, but I still feel the comment was unwarranted.  First of all, we are not "always looking for a handout."  We both put ourselves through school, bought a house and a car- together, but with no financial support from our families. 
And we have picked up extra jobs.  I am babysitting after school, I have forfeited my best teacher perk- summers off, to work on curriculum development for the district.  Chris has picked up part time gigs, he has translated documents, he has done IT work (really, I have no idea what he does all day). 
Chris rides a bike to work in a suit to save on transit fare and a second car payment, insurance, and parking.  And by the way, it was 90 degrees today.  I was 21 when I joined the Peace Corps.  I came off my parents insurance- health and car, and I have been supporting myself financially ever since.  Chris works hard, he just switched to a new job because the benefits for parents are better.  Not only does he work full time, he comes home and works on our house, which had been quite the fixer upper.  He completely remodeled the upstairs bathroom and put in a laundry room.  He and his father put in a new boiler and dishwasher.  Is having his father help out asking for a handout?  His father has the expertise, he's a retired pipe fitter, and offered to help us out.
We are asking for a lot of help, but as they say "it takes a village."  I am frustrated, often, when I see the checks flying out of our account, the balance dwindling.  But I didn't make the system, I am just trying to work within it.  I think its unfair that adoptive parents have to empty their bank accounts and take out second mortgages while other parents are setting up college funds. 
Can we do this on our own?  Can biological parents do it on their own?  We all count on friends, family and coworkers to pitch in when they can.  We've all babysat our nieces and nephews free of charge, brought a lasagne to a colleague who's wife is sick, taken a stressed friend out to lunch.  We even do this for people we don't know- every Christmas our school counselor organizes a gift drive for needy children throughout the district. 
Bottom line, though, if you don't want to help out, you don't have to.