Misconceptions about Adoptive Families

In my quest to find the "perfect" book to give to our parents and siblings to help them understand our adoption journey and settling in with our new one, I've come across a lot of duds.

I highly recommend "You Can Adopt," if you are interested in pursuing adoption yourself.  It's upbeat title is not misleading- you will walk away with confidence and ready for the challenge.

I just finished Adam Pertman's "Adoption Nation."  I had to renew it- I never do that- so you know it's hard to get through.  His overall point- that adoption has come out of the shadows and people are proud to talk about adoptions is good for all involved, is accurate.  But to prove his point he uses common and extremely uncommon misconceptions about adoptions. 
Common Misconception Example 1: chapter 6 is called "Adoptive Parents: Infertility Begets a Family."  We know plenty of adoptive families who have biological children- who had biological children first, so they already knew infertility wasn't an issue.  While, many families choose adoption only after failing to conceive naturally and with fertility treatments, that is not the case for everyone. 
So why then do they adopt?  Well there is no one answer for that.  Many feel a call to adopt, there are so many children around the world without families.  Many adoptions are of family members- nieces, nephews, cousins, stepchildren, often when the child's primary caregiver is no longer available.  Pertman claims that adoption have increased because women wait longer to try and conceive.  Though that many women wait longer to have children, there aren't accurate figures on adoptions in years past, due to the secrecy and shame adoptive parents felt at the time. 
Bizarre Misconception Example 2: "Many people do more homework before they buy a car than before they adopt a child."  (p. 190)  I find that exceedingly difficult to believe or substantiate.  Good luck proving that point, Pertman.
Outrageous Claim Example 3: This guy really hates the National Council for Adoption (NCFA).  He accuses them  of using their influence to pressure the government to ease the Indian Child Welfare Act (which basically makes it difficult for non Native Americans to adopt a child of a recognized Native American ancestry) because the Mormons believe that Native Americans are the last tribe of Israel and therefore the anointed people.  And Mormons encourage adoptees to follow their adoptive families bloodlines as there own thus creating more Mormons.  And "who better to bring into the fold than the Lord's anointed favorites"  (p. 218-219).  Admittedly, I do not know much about Mormon's views on adoption or Native Americans, but to follow his logic you'd have to accept numerous unqualified claims.
So, in short, I do not recommend this book.  Back to the library tomorrow.