The Language Barrier

"So Hungarian, that's like Russian, right?"
Chris and I thought we had the language in the bag.  As former Peace Corps Volunteers adopting from our host country (Bulgaria) we'd have few problems communicating with our little one.  The biggest concern would be the lack of exposure to speech from being in an institution. 
When we changed countries, everything changed. 
 
Hungarian is like no other modern spoken language.  There are linguists who believe its linked to Estonian or to an Asian language brought by the Mongols, but its like none of its neighbors.  None of the languages Chris or I speak (English, Russian, Bulgarian) or have some understanding (French, German, Spanish) will come in handy in Hungary.
"That's because Hungary is the county that has had the longest most consistent borders in Europe" says my friend of Hungarian decent.  It's true, her dad told her.  That sounds like something the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding would say.  (You tell me the any word and I show you the root is Greek!). 

Why don't you just get the Rosetta Stone?
Ah, Rosetta Stone, possibly the most successful and comprehensive language study program, doesn't carry Hungarian.  But if they did...
Rosetta Stone Hungarian
According to the Onion, the first disc of Rosetta Stone Hungarian, is just someone telling you in English not to bother.

 
Chris has started on Teach Yourself Hungarian.  I've made it to the alphabet, Hungarian isn't easy.  And there are no cognates with other languages I know.

Book

I've decided to put my efforts into learning some basic sign language.  There is a lot of evidence that children are able to pick up signs earlier than spoken language, even in bilingual children and it does not delay their ability to speak.  There's lots of great website and books that help young children (and their parents) learn to sign.
Baby Signs and Language Acquisition

"If you have to fundraise..."

"If you have to fundraise, then you shouldn't be adopting."  I heard this from a friend of my husband's last week.  I understand where he's coming from, but he doesn't understand what adoptive families experience.


Having a family.
Can we afford to have a family?  Yes.  We both have good jobs, with good salaries and benefits.  Open enrollment just wrapped up, and the health insurance plans send out information with typical health procedures and your expected out of pocket expenses.  Do you know how much it would cost someone on my health plan to have a baby (give birth and all the prenatal care)?  $600.  Yup, $600 to go through pregnacy, labor and delivery.  May seem like a lot to some, but that's how much the application fee was to get started with the adoption.

What are you going to do when the kid gets here?
Well, we'd have to face those expenses whether we had a child biologically or adopted.  Child care, food, toys, medical care- all families face those expenses.  Families raise children on a lot less than we have.

Well, then why do you need to fundraise?
Yes, its true people get by on a lot less.  But adoption is a big expense and all at once.  We both have good jobs and benefits, we can afford to raise a child.  But like most people in our age cohort, we're paying student loans, just staring our careers- a lot of life expenses.  But we're building equity and preparing ourselves for our future.  We don't have $35K liquid assets for the adoption.  And we are just missing the adoption tax credit.

Adoption Tax Credit?
That's right, expiring December 2012 is a refundable tax credit of over $13K per adopted child.  Should the US government be handing out checks to adoptive families?  Well, without getting into the politics of whether the government should or not...  The adopted child tax credit was increased for several years until it reached its current level.  And every year, adoption agencies adjusted their fees accordingly.  If your adoption is completed by the end of December, you can claim this credit.  We are missing it by mere weeks.  Are the agencies going to lower their fees now that the tax credit is no more?  I wouldn't bet on it.  And the cherry on top is- adoption related expenses are not tax refundable.  So, that $10 we donated to a colleague walking for breast cancer (or some other worthy cause)- tax deductible.  That $3,000 we spent on our home study- not a chance. 

Bottom line.
No one likes asking for money.  If you don't want donate to the raffle, you don't have to.  We won't hold it against you.  We know families and individuals are facing a lot- they have their own life expenses, uncertainty in the job market, falling real estate. 
We have gotten a lot of support from family, friends, colleagues and even people we've never met.  Every dollar will be matched from a grant from Brittany's Hope.  We are so close to our goal with the raffle- just a few more tickets to go.

So if you are interested....
Tickets are 1 for $10 and 3 for $25 (remember every dollar will be matched- so a donation of $10 is a $20 gain for us!!).  You can donate via the Pay Pal on the right side of this blog, or you can mail checks to
Christ Church
620 G St SE
Washington, DC 20002. 
Be sure to put "iPad raffle" in the memo line.
Thanks!

Starting to Feel Real

I can't believe we've been planning this adoption for more than a year, at the same time- it has gone by so quickly. 
For so long we've been thinking about this child abstractly.  Now she has a name, a face- she's real!  We're so excited for her to come home.  We stare at her one blurry picture, watch the videos over and over.  Subject our friends, colleagues, family members- anyone we come in to contact with to watch the videos with us.
At the same time, I can't help but think- are we ready to do this?  Are we old enough?  How are we going to pay for this?  We thought we had 2 more years of waiting.  And of course- I can't believe they are letting us do this!  We worked hard for this adoption for so long, I can't believe its happening already.  We're happy we don't have to wait 18-24 more months, but in just 2 months everything is going to change.   
Her things starting arriving- a high chair and some clothes from friends, a car seat from my sister, we ordered her bed this weekend. 
What a whirlwind of emotions- I'm so excited, the whole thing feels surreal and then the underlying fear that this whole thing could fall apart.