Books for Adoptive Extended Families

I've been searching for some good books to give to our extended families- the child's aunts, uncles and grandparents.  Prospective adoptive parents spend months, years waiting for their child to come home.  They read books, magazines, blogs and take adoptive parenting courses to prepare for that child's arrival.  I want to make sure our families understand what we are going through and how they can help. 
So far, I've found one that I like: "Cross Cultural Adoption" by Amy Coughlin and Caryn Abramowitz.  This book would be ideal for cousins and close family friends with children.  The authors provide many ideas to answer common questions asked by young children.  Its important for the individuals in the adopted child's life to understand positive adoption language: children are placed for adoption, not "given up," etc.  Don't tell them they are "lucky" to be adopted by their families, they've lost everything they new to get here.  The authors explain why attachment is so important, and why adoptive families choose to keep their kids close, especially at the beginning.  If we're not inviting you over, its because we don't want to confuse the child to who their primary care giver is.  Children in orphanages are used to a cast of care takers.  Adoptive parents need to be the one who picks up the child and holds him when he is upset, to feed him, to put him to bed- we understand you are trying to help, but we are trying to promote attachment with our children. 
I like this book, but it focuses a great deal on the top ten countries that Americans adopt from, and Bulgaria is not one of them.  I need to find one that better suits our situation- any suggestions?
I'm reading "Adoption Nation" but I have issues with that one- more on that later.

Getting Ready for the Tag Sale Fundraiser

Wow!  The donations have been pouring in!  Keep them coming!  Please sign up if you are in the Westchester, NY area to help June 2nd: www.SignUpGenius.com/go/30E094FAAA82FA31-tagsale

Here's a sample of what's been donated:

 Lots of children's items, housewares, linens, lamps, furniture, etc!

 

New Job!

Chris got a new job!  We're super excited he's starting at this company.  This one has an adoption benefit!  Congratulations, Chris!

Check this out: Roma Boots

I found this site today- for every pair of rain boots purchased, one pair is sent to a Roma kid in need in Eastern Europe.  Many Bulgarian orphans are Roma and many Roma in Bulgaria live below the poverty line.  They often live in the outskirts of town where they don't have access to many things- better schools, sports facilities, transport even roads are not maintained in the Roma neighborhood (Mahala).
http://www.romaprovisions.com/index.php

Easter

We had our traditional Easter dinner at our house.  After church on Sunday, several of our friends came over for dinner of potatoes, asparagus and lamb.  We got to use our new* grill. (New to us).

Orthodox Easter, celebrated in Bulgaria, is next Sunday.  On Good Friday, Bulgarians crawl under the altar.

I asked my host family why they did this, but they didn't know.  I saw it on Globe Trekker, I think they were in Romania.  It was supposed to symbolize Christ going into the tomb.  
On Saturday before Easter, everyone heads to the Church at midnight.  At midnight, a mass is said and the congregation walks clockwise around the church holding yellow beeswax candles.  If your candle goes out, it means you have sinned, maybe- or that is a superstition. 

On Easter, family and friends come over.  Everyone selects a dyed hard boiled egg.  (The first egg dyed at every house must be red).  You then challenge guests to tap their eggs.

The egg that breaks loses, and the winner goes on to tap other people's eggs.  The trick is to hold your egg tightly in your fist and tap the pointiest part of your egg to the side of the other person's egg. 
My egg beat Chris's, but it was more pink than red.
Happy Easter!

Lessons Learned

I am trying to stay positive, so this is what I learned:
The child has been placed on hold for another family. 
1.  Healthier children under 2 available on the wait list go fast.  Very fast.
2. Find a reliable international adoption specialist who reviews medical files before you ever need them. 
3.  Don't be afraid to call the doctor's office 10x in one day.  They will not call you back.  Not ever.
4.  Fewer families are willing to accept boys than girls.
5.  A child on the wait list is registered with a foundation, they choose who they share the information with.
6.  Before your dossier is registered with the MOJ, you can adopt through any foundation.  Once you are registered, you can only adopt with the foundation you are registered with.  This is not the same as your placing agency.
7.  We need to be prepared for the child to come home.  The child could be here as soon as late 2012, or as late as 2017 (really).
The child's file we had seen looked to be a good match for us.  Everything seemed to be falling in place.  We contacted several different international adoption doctors to review the case, we finally found one we could get on the phone.    We were planning a iPad raffle, with support from our church.  Our roommate announced last week that she's moving out by the end of the month.  (Which is good because she's been staying in the baby's room).  But then, less than a week after we learned about the child, another family had placed the child on hold.  They had already adopted 2 children through that foundation and they asked us not to send our paperwork in.  At least we know this child is going to a good place.  We were upset when we found out, but I am trying to be more positive.  We know a lot more now then we did a week ago.  I was surprised to learn so many more families want girls, we are open to both.