The updated house photos

Our house is pretty much complete.  Here are some pictures since the fire and renovations.  We still need to hang up some of our pictures and get some blinds.
Its amazing how much damage fire fighters can do!  I know they prevented our house from catching on fire, but all our damage is from them.  It was our neighbors house that had the fire, but to prevent it from spreading, the fire fighters knocked out our windows, cut holes in our roof and soaked the place until there were several inches of water in our basement!

sunroom

dining room

Living room

That's a Bulgarian carpet, similar to a Turkish Kilim, from Chirprovtsi.

through the living room to the dining room

kitchen

Here are Polly and Micha trying to figure out what I am looking at.  The kitchen- only room not damaged in the fire.  Too bad, it was on our list to renovate when we bought the house.  Very late 1980s: tile counter tops, golden oak cabinets, etc. 

upstairs hallway

One good thing about the fire was that all the electrical had to be brought up to date.  The contractor put extra outlets in every room.  Before the fire, we had only one outlet in the office.  If you wanted to print, you had to unplug something else!  And some of the overhead lights didn't have switches, just pull cords.  You had to walk upstairs in the dark and search to pull the cord to turn the hall light on!

spare bedroom

Office

Got my Mac back!

I couldn't figure out how to take a picture that showed the whole room.  There is a new skylight, but it doesn't show in pictures. 

master bedroom

The good thing about the new bed is you can fit much more stuff underneath it.  This is good when you leave in an old house and have only one closet (and a tiny one at that) in the master bedroom.

That's where we are so far.  The basement is still a wreck, but I have a new, more secure basement door and the washer, dryer and laundry sink are all hooked up again. 

We have a new tenant, I didn't take pictures of her room, which would be the children's room.  Its a little smaller than our room and is painted a gray blue.  

Pretty nice!  We bought a fixer-upper and had made a priority list, but the fire took care of most of that.  We only need to update the kitchen, basement and backyard.  Everything else was taken care of by the fire fighters and insurance.  It took 5 months, but things are back and better than they were in time for the holidays.

Journey Continues

It has been quite a journey!  We are finally back in our house and mostly settled.  I can't thank our contractor enough, he did an excellent job.  He had to deal with an idiot non responsive insurance adjustor, who took weeks to pay him and still got everything done in a reasonable amount of time. 
So here are the highlights: we lost our tenant- but found a new one; most of our stuff was saved but damaged by Service Master.  The company who packed out our house, Service Master, lost a lot of our stuff but recently "found" it.  They lost my husband's suits, our area rugs, damaged the furniture and walls moving things back in- really professional.  The company that took our electronics, Restronic, did an excellent job.  Our electronics have never been cleaner, but it did stink to have our new Mac in storage for 4 months.  We got our cats back at Thanksgiving, my parents had them for the past 4 months.
We have been very busy with the holidays coming up.  Last weekend was my sister's wedding, it was beautiful, but really cold in New England.  This coming weekend is my husband's company holiday party.  I missed mine because I caught strep on the flight to New England.  Then we are flying to visit my in-laws on the West Coast for Christmas and we'll check out my sister and her family's new place at New Years. 
My sister who took a new job on the West Coast; over here she lived in a 3 bedroom 2500 sq foot home, out there it'll just be a little 800 sq foot condo, so she had some extra furniture to help us replace what was lost.  Also, my friend who I traveled to Bulgaria, Turkey and Greece this summer is moving back home to Hawaii and it is simply too expensive to move her furniture there.  She looked it up and it would actually be cheaper to buy all her furniture brand new again than to ship it.  And she had some nice furniture- a Crate and Barrel sleeper sofa with ottoman and a dining set.
We haven't had to buy too much stuff, which is good because all the repairs and living away from home have really set us back.
I'll post some pictures of the renovations and *new* furniture.
I need to take some photos of the house now that we've unpacked and I got my new Cannon Rebel for early Christmas!

Downstairs

Dining Room

Sun room with *new* couch

Decorated for Christmas :-)

moving forward

We have been out of our house since July 8th.  It has been a headache.  The insurance guy didn't return a phone call or e-mail for the first 5 weeks.  After that he would only communicate with my husband and only occasionally.  The people hired to pack out our belongings destroyed a lot of our stuff and left water and food lying around for months.  When the contractor was finally allowed to get started, he got a lot of work done only to have it destroyed by water coming in from the still unrepaired house next door.  We have to fight insurance for every penny, vet bills from smoke inhalation for the pets, having the closets painted, replacing our destroyed belongings, exterminators and a new cleaning service.  Finally, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The contractor is finished.  Nearly everything is new: walls, floors, wiring, boiler, windows, paint, floors, etc.  The company that packed out our house is supposed to return all our belongings Monday.  I doubt they will, from their track record.  But that means next week is unpacking, cleaning and cataloging what was destroyed or ruined by the cleaning service.  I can't wait to have my coat back, it is snowing today!  I can't wait to get our pets back, they have been living with my parents for nearly 5 months.
Unfortunately, as they tore the house apart, they found more things that needed to be repaired.  Insurance wouldn't cover it because it wasn't caused by the damage.  We have drained our adoption fund.  Time to start saving again.
Last weekend we picked up some furniture from my friend.  She is moving to Hawaii and it would actually be cheaper to buy the furniture all over again than to ship it.  There were a few inexpensive things like Ikea end tables, rugs and lamps, but she had some really nice things like a Crate and Barrel sofa bed and ottoman, dining table and bed.  All the stuff is relatively new.  We should be moving into our house next weekend or the one after that. 
We'll finally be ready to have our homestudy.  I am ready to put this all behind me. 

*New* House

Our neighbor's house caught fire July 8th and spread to ours.  It's now October 17th and we are still living in a hotel. Our neighbors weren't insured, but I no longer feel bad for them.  One sure-fire way to go from home owner to homeless in 90 seconds is a house fire.  They still haven't sold their house or repaired it.    We had to pay to have their roof patched and plan on suing them to be reimbursed, or else repairs could not have continued on ours.  Turns out they don't own their house, the owner is deceased and they never went to probate court.  We'll never see that money again.  But on the bright side, our house is nearly finished.  Our contractor just needs to refinish the floors and install the windows in the front.  We've been successful in getting the house on the other side of the fire declared blighted, so hopefully that we be sold and renovated.
It's been quite a journey. 
During renovations, our contractor has completely redone our electrical.  We had an old house, so he has added new outlets to every room.  Our office only had 1 outlet, so if you wanted to print, you had to unplug the lamp and plug in the printer.  He added light switches, so I can now turn on the upstairs hall light from downstairs- so I don't have to walk upstairs in the dark.  He put an outlet and light outside in the back.  He also had to completely renovate the addition that had been put onto the house in the 1950s.  We had hardwood floors throughout the house and he did an excellent job matching the floors that were replaced to the existing floors.  Same with the trim.  His guys did a better job patching the plaster and painting than I did. 
My husband's father is a pipe fitter and came down to switch our boiler out.  Good thing, too, because he discovered our chimney wasn't lined.  That turned out to be another huge expense.  With the new insulation, windows and boiler, our house will be much more efficient. 
I think we'll be back in the house in a few weeks.
All of our savings are gone, the insurance didn't cover much of the problems discovered while repairing the house.  We have had to fight them on every front.  They only wanted to pay to paint some of the rooms and parts of the others, they only wanted to replace 1 room's floor.  Our insurance adjuster is an idiot.    Our tenant has the same insurance company and hasn't received this poor customer service. Our adjuster is so terrible, that we only communicate with him via email to have documentation and forward and cc everything to his superiors.  No one should ever have to go through this ordeal.  I'll be happy when we move back into our house, but our adoption fund has been depleted and we have spent countless hours fighting insurance with what we are due.
Here are some updated pictures of the house:

Office

Second Bedroom

renovated addition

how they left my kitchen

third bedroom

Postponing

Our fire was July 8th, or the neighbor's fire that spread to our house.  While nothing has happened at theirs, just slow progress back to nature or rat infested crack house (that's back to nature in our city), big renovations have begun at our place.  Our contractor started on Monday.  Of course, as renovation began, more damage was uncovered.  We are about $20k over the payment from insurance.  Some of that is because we had budgeted for the state credit on our new windows, which we have missed out on because the windows were not installed "in time."  We had also planned on replacing our boiler, that's a $2,800- $3,500 project we had planned on doing and purchased the supplies for before the fire. 
 I'll be heading to home depot tomorrow for new paint and lighting.  There are perks to the renovations, we aren't there to live through it- thanks to insurance we are at a hotel, and all of the rooms will be repainted and there will be updated and more electrical.
Our savings, which I had planned for the adoption are gone.  I was really hoping to be a parent by the time I was 35, but now that isn't a reality.  I'm really bummed.  Its frustrating that you can work really hard, plan carefully and that someone else's disaster ruins everything.  The most depressing part, is that we have no other options.  We can't have a child.  Our state contracts out all foster to adoption programs (and foster care), so that's not a cost effective option.  Private adoptions are expensive and there is no timeline.  We are all out of options.  We are either postponing.  In reality: giving up. 
I'll add pictures of the renovations later.  I guess this isn't an adoption blog anymore. 

House renovation

I am happy to say we finally recieved our estimate from insurance.  This is our first fire (or major damage) and we didn't know what the timeline should be.  Our adjuster kept telling us "any day now," and 5 weeks seemed like a long time to be living in a hotel- especially when for 3 of those weeks there was literally nothing happening at our house.  Our tenant's adjuster, at the same company, started telling her to find a new place to live because "nothing's happening at the house."  That's when we understood that 5 weeks is not only unacceptable, but violates our rights as policy holders.  A few calls to his supervisor, and a few hours later at 1:41 AM we had our estimate. 
We met with our contractor Tuesday morning at our house.  We went through and looked at everything that needed to be done.  It took the estimate and will get back to us with by the end of the week to let us know if its fair.  In addition, we're going to make some updates while the house is all torn apart.  We already bought new windows, which will be installed.  My husband and his father, who is a retired pipe fitter, will be updating our boiler and we are getting quotes for central air conditioning.  These updataes are, of course, not covered by insurance, but we figure its better to do it now while all the walls and ceilings are opened up. 
We should be back in our house by Thanksgiving, maybe in Halloween.  Once the contractor has the go ahead, it doesn't take his crew long to update the electrical, sheetrock and paint- what the insurance is covering. 
Everything seemed to be going well Tuesday.  My husband was working from home and I was resting after meeting with the contractor, then we had an unusual earthquake on the East coast.  My husband is a West Coaster, but his first instinct was run out of the building.  Not what you are supposed to do.  You should get in a doorway or under a sturdy piece of furniture.  But the noise and the rumbling made him think explosion- we just don't have earthquakes here.  We are staying in a high rise hotel downtown since the fire.  Buildings, bridges, transit systems, etc here are not designed for earthquakes.  Everything seems to be ok here, but 2 of my sisters live in Northern Virginia and have experienced damage. 

Fire Updates

The fire at our house was July 8th.  I am trying to be patient and grateful for the outcome so far, but 6 weeks in a hotel and no progress on the house is driving me nuts!  I am grateful that no one was hurt, most of our belongings are salvageable and that insurance is putting us up in a hotel.  I hate to complain about living in a hotel because I know it could be much worse- we have cable, air conditioning, Internet, fitness center and breakfast every morning.  But I am tired of the food choices and not being able to cook.  Going to the laundromat, instead of being able to run laundry whenever I need to in my own house, having to wait for my car to be brought out of the garage instead of just pulling it out of the driveway.  We're staying at a hotel downtown, so traffic is a real problem.  My commute is much longer though I am technically closer in distance to work.  We can't have our pets here at the hotel, luckily my parents were able to keep both of them at their house because we would never be able to board them for 3 months.  The worst part, though, is that we are in the middle of our home study.  We can get most of it done, but the social worker needs to see our house and its in no state to be evaluated.
I suppose I would be more comfortable with the situation if I felt progress was being made.  But it isn't.  When I met with the insurance adjuster a few days after the fire, he assured me he would have the estimate ready in a week.  That was 5 weeks ago.  We have a contractor who is ready to get started, but he can't without that estimate.  Insurance needs to tell us what they are paying for and how much they are paying for it.  The contractor needs to go over the estimate and determine if it is fair and complete before he agrees to the job.  I trust the contractor.  He's hardworking and honest, he's worked on our house before and done major renovations on other old homes in our neighborhood.  I am losing faith in this adjuster.  He can't get his work done in a timely manner and he doesn't keep us up to date on progress, if there is any, on our house.  My husband is afraid if we press him, we'll be considered a nuisance and he'll low-ball our estimate.  I just want to get back in my house.   I don't hate it here at the hotel, but it's not home. 

back in town!

I think the best thing working for a school district is the schedule.  Its very conducive to having a family, in fact almost all my colleagues are parents.  This summer, with no kids to look after and my husband working, I took a trip to Bulgaria to visit.  I hadn't been back since I COSed (Close of Service) from the Peace Corps 5 years ago.   I traveled with a friend who had been a PCV in Uzbekistan. 
I'll just stick with the highlights, because I traveled for about 3 weeks.  I flew into Istanbul, saw all the sites.  The highlights of Istanbul are the food, Hagia Sofia and the Cemberlitas baths. 

Here's the Blue Mosque and a Whirling Dervish.

Took a night bus to Burgas in Bulgaria.  Then a little bus called a Marshutka to Primorsko.  If you are going to the Bulgarian seaside, I highly recommend Primorsko.  It has beautiful beaches, and plenty of inexpensive accommodations.  You can stay with a family for 10 Euros per person per night. 
From there we headed to Plovdiv, a beautiful town in central Bulgaria.  Plovdiv has an amazing preserved old town where you can seen an ancient amphitheater.

From Plovdiv, my friend and I traveled to Shumen.  Shumen is not a particularly noteworthy town, but my counterpart from my Peace Corps days is now living and working there.  Shumen has a monument built to honor the 1300 years of the Bulgarian Republic with one step for each year.  At the top of this hill is also an ancient fortress.  Not far from Shumen, is a UNESCO World Heritage site- the Madara Horseman.  This ancient stone carving is on the coin currency (except the Lev coin) in Bulgaria.

Researchers are still studying this amazing carving.  It is probably 80 feet from the ground and it is not known how or why it was created.

From Shumen we headed to Veliko Turnavo.  If you could visit only one town in Bulgaria, make it Veliko Turnavo.  This town has a beautiful fortress and well preserved old town.  Veliko was once the capital of Bulgaria and has a thriving artistic community. 
We took a train to my former site, Vidin, on the Danube river.  So much has changed and so much is the same.  I met up with old friends and visited the orphanage where I worked as a Peace Corps Volunteer.  Unfortunately the director I worked under had recently retired and was visiting her family out of town. 
The bridge connecting Vidin and Calafat, Romania is finally underway.

After spending a few days in Vidin, we headed to Chiprovtsi.  Chiprovtsi was my husband's site as a volunteer.  Here's where he stayed (lucky guy didn't have to live in a communist block apartment like most volunteers).

Chiprovtsi is a town in the Northwest of Bulgaria known for its carpet weaving.  The kilims they weave are similar to the Turkish style, in that wool threads are woven to create a flat pattern that is the same on both sides.  During his service, my husband and a volunteer from the Japanese voluntary service (similar to the Peace Corps) worked on reviving the carpet weaving industry and focused on reestablishing the use of organically dyed wool.  The carpets are beautiful and last a lifetime, they are about 100 Euros per square meter- amazing considering it takes about 2 months to create a kilim that size. No trip could to Bulgaria could be complete without visiting the capital, Sofia.  Most Americans mispronounce it, saying it like the girls' name Sophia.  When talking about the capital, don't emphasize the second syllable.  Important sites include Alexander Nevski Catherdral.  Don't miss the changing of the guards by the St. Georgi Rotunda.

If you are not renting a car, you can still visit the Rila Monastery UNESO World Heritage Site.  Hostel Mostel in Makedonia Square organizes daily trips to the Monastery for 20 Euros.  It takes about 2 hours to get there.  First stop was at Ivan Rilski's cave.  Saint John of Rila lived in this cave for 7 years, 14 years, it depends who you ask.  Bulgarians write prayers on little notes and stick them between the rocks, tie them to the trees.  Apparently, if you squeeze through the cave, all your sins are wiped clean.  So I'm in the clear for a while.  We then wandered through the Monastery, which is currently undergoing a renovation. 

Notes to St. John of Rila and martenitsi bracelets from the March 1st celebration.

Climbing out of the cave, don't try this if you are claustrophobic!

Catching a night bus from Sofia, we arrived in Athens 12 hours later.  Athens is beautiful.  Don't let the media scare you, the austerity measure riots don't affect the tourist areas.  We even went to Syntagma square, where the riots were centered, but the police had restored order.

You can still see remnants of the riots, but there were crews cleaning up and fixing what was damaged a few days ago.  Of course the most important thing to see in Athens is the Acropolis.

From Athens we flew back home.  It's good to be home and see my husband again.  I am disappointed that our insurance is taking its sweet time and nothing new has happened at our house.  We are still living in a hotel.

Insurance

Here's some quick pictures of the evolution of the dining room- now severely damaged by fire.
One year ago before we renovated:

During renovations:

Renovation complete:

Now, after the fire- all the damage is from water, the actual fire was upstairs in the neighbor's house.

Please make sure your home owner's or renter's insurance is up-to-date.  I was looking over our home owner's policy, bundled with our car insurance we get a discount and its only about $55 a month (less than most cell phone plans), renter's is much less because they are only insuring your belongings, not the structure.  I don't even want to speculate the cost of damage.  Our insurance is covering the water abatement, renovations, cleaning, repairing or replacing our belongings and relocating use for the time being.  We feel blessed to be safe and to know that everything is going to be ok. :-)

House Fire

Friday morning we were awakened to our next door neighbor's house on fire.  The fire started in their toddler's room and quickly spread throughout the house.  Luckily the family, including the baby, a 6 year old and an elderly great aunt were downstairs having breakfast and got out quickly and safely.  Unfortunately, all the boys' stuff is destroyed.  We got out safely and my husband was able to catch our cats before they spooked and ran off. 

firetruck in the alley

The good thing about living in an urban area is the emergency response time.  The firefighters were there with 2 ladder companies in about 90 seconds- one on the street and one in the alley.  The bad thing with urban housing is that row houses share a wall and fire spreads quickly.  The firefighters ran into our house and cut holes through the ceiling out on to the roof.  They doused everything with water.  Our house thankfully never caught on fire, but the damage is immense.  The dining room ceiling fell in, the nursery has a hole to the sky, the bathroom is damaged- all the rooms we worked on remodeling this year.  The water damage goes into the kitchen, dining room, the sun room, spare bedroom and the basement. 

Our bedroom

Although we've lost a lot of our things, we are all safe.  I am sad to see my Bulgaria pictures from Peace Corps and my Kniga za Pechati (stamp book for Bulgarian National Sites) destroyed, most of the things can be salvaged or replaced.  Some important things were ok- my husband was able to get his trumpet, an antique and gift from his grandfather who passed and our digital photos were backed up on a hard drive at his office.

The insurance company is like a parent who steps in and takes care of everything.  Immediately after the fire, they had a contractor out at our house boarding up windows, skylights and putting a temporary patch on our roof (you can't put a tarp on a flat roof).  They have put us in a hotel across town, not far from home.  The insurance company has hired a fire response company to catalog all our belongings, salvage and clean what they can and store them while the house is restored.  We can choose our own contractor, and we are choosing the contractor who did our bathroom.  He's reliable, experienced, honest and likes restoring this old row houses.  All the hardwood floors need to be replaced, the windows (yes, the new windows) need to be repaired/ replaced, the skylight, interior walls, electrical, etc.   They've already started moving our belongings out to their warehouse to be stored and cleaned and tearing up walls and floors to start drying everything before mold can grow.
It's been an inconvenience, but not a tragedy.  The fire happened on my husband's second day at a new job and my last at a part time assignment.  We've been stressed because we both have travel plans this summer: I'm heading to Bulgaria to visit some old friends and he's heading home to see his parents and grandmother who isn't doing so well.  I am thankful that we are all ok and that the insurance company will handle the clean up while we are out of town.  I am so grateful my husband installed smoke detectors when we moved in and replaced the batteries a few weeks ago.
I'm including the evolution of the nursery bedroom.  I am thankful that no one was hurt and that no child was asleep in the room during this. 


Nursery when we moved in





Remodel almost done, new lighting and door added later





as of now

The new furniture, ceiling fan, door, and the damage goes beyond it to the spare bedroom and the water seeped into the walls and floor and through the ceiling.

All we can do now is count our blessings and move forward.  Stuff can be repaired and replaced and no one was hurt.  I am grateful the fire department responded so quickly and saved our house.

Not such good news

I posted a week or 2 ago about our failed attempt to get new windows.  We had a contractor out today to take a look.  He pulled back the drywall and behind it was poorly made- exterior wall framing needs to be a certain size lumber.  The aluminum siding needs to sealed up properly so that water cannot seep behind it.  We are going to need to shore it up with proper framing- up to code. 
The addition had originally been a screened in sleeping porch, and when the previous owners decided to close it in (themselves) they just tacked windows in the openings and hung sheet rock over the paneling and put aluminum siding outside.  No permits, no inspectors, nothing up to code.  We didn't know how bad it was until we tried to have new windows installed.   Why didn't this come up in our home inspection?
I was concerned about financing the adoption, but now I don't see how it will all get done.    This is going to postpone our homestudy, ugh.
I know it isn't as bad as houses on this show, the main part of the house is solid, but the addition...

So clearly not my house, but I wish Ty Pennington would come and fix it up for us! ;-)  Or that TV show where they come in and fix what bad contractors did.  Actually, that house doesn't look bad, I mean before they started tearing it down.

Хайде играите хоро!

Let's dance the horo!  Its impossible to spend more than a week in Bulgaria without trying the horo.  We were there about 3-4 days when our Peace Corps trainers taught us a few basic ones.  Nearly every Bulgarian child takes tanz (dance) and have many opportunities to practice- weddings, birthdays, office parties, or even just a weekend at the pub or disco. 
When you learn horo, you count the steps starting with raz which is the Russian word for one, then you count forward in Bulgarian: dva, tree, cheteri, pet, shest and so on.  The most simple horo is Byala Roza or White Rose, which is 6 steps foward and 2 steps back, similar to Pravo.  Which is demonstrated here:

It's in Bulgarian, but its demonstrated with one dancer and illustrated with arrows.  They show the steps (krakata), which leg goes first and what to do with your arms (rutzete).
Da go videyat Let's watch!
My favorite horo is Dunavsko which is named for the Danube River which forms Bulgaria's Northern border with Romania and empties into the Black Sea.  While Pravo can be danced to a number of songs, Dunavsko is always danced to the same song. 

I am a bit winded, I need to practice before the Smithsonian Folk Life Festival and the Celebration of Peace Corps' 50th anniversary!  We'll be there next week to represent Peace Corps Bulgaria, check it out if you are around Washington, DC.
Smithsonian Folk Life Festival 2011

New Windows, Almost

Saturday was supposed to be "new window day".  The windows guys were coming at 8 am and we had to be up and ready for them- all furniture moved 3 feet from the windows, all window coverings off and all window ac units out. 

Taking down the blinds

Here's the living rooom, a wreck right now, with the new ceiling fan ready to be installed.

The guys took apart the back upstairs windows first and discovered the the aluminium siding was never put on properly, rain water was able to get in between the siding and the wall.  They wouldn't do any more windows, but they tacked the 4 back windows in place until we can get a contractor out here.  The part with the rot is an addition to the house, the rest of the house is brick and no water was able to get in around those windows, but they wouldn't touch anything else without the contractor. 

Behind the wood paneling

Rotten windowsill

We were planning on taking down the wood paneling this fall, when the weather is cooler, and having this room sheet rocked.  It is either going to be a second child's bedroom or the playroom.

The window guys stuck the rest of the windows in the basement and took off so fast, it can only lead me to believe that they had another job scheduled for the same day. 

Micah and the windows in the basement

This project is going to cost a lot more than we planned, looks like the whole back wall of the 2 story addition is going to need to be replaced.  The contractor came out today, but he can't schedule us for a few weeks.

We knew this house needed work when we bought it 13 months ago, but the house inspector didn't tell us some really expensive things that needed to be fixed: the stove, the boiler, rotten wall of the addition, and bathroom water pipes were completely blocked- we had to completely tear apart the main bathroom because the pipes were imbedded in concrete in the floor.  The inspector told us we had alumunium wiring, which really made me nervous- I had an electrician out here right after we moved in and he confirmed that was not the case. 

Aren't housing inspectors licensced by the state?  At what point do you take legal action at his incompetence? 

Prenatal Health

Prenatal health is something we are well aware of in the United States.  Pregnant women are told not to drink, smoke, consume cold cuts, change the cat litter, etc.  They are warned to avoid second hand smoke and other environmental dangers.  We take it very seriously, in fact, if you saw an obviously pregnant women smoking or drinking, you would likely tell someone. 
In Bulgaria, illicit drug use is very rare.  More Americans smoke marijuana, or try it once, than in Bulgaria.  I always found it amusing that it grew every where in Bulgaria.  Behind my block apartment building was scrubby trees and weeds, mostly marijuana; it also grew all around the elementary school.  But I never knew any Bulgarian who used it, not even once.  
However, it is not uncommon to see a pregnant women smoking.  Most Bulgarians know that it is unhealthy for the baby, but nicotine is addictive and they struggle with quitting.  Most women I knew did try to stop or at least cut back when they were pregnant.  Though, I was told, on more than one occasion, if you crave cigarettes while you are pregnant its because the baby wants it.  Right.  Not your own addiction. 
According to the March of Dimes there are many serious side effects of smoking while pregnant, and it is harder for smokers to get pregnant.  The most common side effect is low birth weight, which is more serious than it sounds.  Babies with low birth weights are more at risk for certain life long disabilities like cerebal palsy. 
Bulgarians drink a lot of coffee, but effects of caffeine on an unborn child are not fully understood.  
Interesting enough, the most dangerous drug to an unborn baby is alcohol.  Alcohol is most dangerous during first 8 weeks of pregnancy, before many women are even aware that they are pregnant. 
Like many other Eastern Europeans and citizens of former Soviet States, Bulgarians drink.  If you were invited over to a Bulgarian's home for dinner, plan on drinking rakiya- brandy usually made of grapes.  Probably followed by beer and wine. 
Alcohol can cause numerous life long disabilities in an unborn child.  It can also cause miscarriages or stillbirths.  Women who drink while pregnant risk having a child who has development delays, hearing or vision deficiencies, heart and brain defects, low birth weight, premature birth the list goes on.  Just one night of heavy drinking during pregnancy can lead to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  You can check out the March of Dimes for more information. 
Why adopt from Bulgaria then with these risks?  The risk of drug use during pregnancy is minimal, less than in the United States.  As far as smoking and alcohol are concerned, the risks are similiar to the United States and far less than other countries (like Russia.)  Bulgarian have access to free universal health care- though the standard of care is not as high as ours.  Bulgarian women are educated, most Bulgarians have a college degree, and are aware of the risks and take steps to minimize them.  Bulgarians have healthy diets with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, and plenty of calcium (mainly from yogurt) and have adequate exercise.   Bulgarians give birth in hospitals with qualified doctors and nurses. 
Many of the children available for adoption in Bulgaria are Roma.  Roma culture is different than Bulgarian.  They are more likely to live outside of town and have limited access to health care.  They are more likely to have children when they are young, while Bulgarians wait until their late 20s or 30s.  Bulgarians have on average less than 2 kids, very few have 3; Roma have many more.  While Bulgarians are overwhelmingly Eastern Orthodox Christians, Roma populations can be Muslim, Orthodox or Evangelical.  Fortunately, Muslims and Evangelicals are less likely to consume alcohol.  Although Roma are more likely to be unemployed, the government provides welfare payments (known as pomosht or "help") to families, so you are unlikely to meet someone who is hungry or homeless.

With all the risks associated with pregnancy, sometimes it seems daunting.  But everyday, healthy women who had excellent prenatal care give birth to children with disabilities and women who had no access to healthcare and were exposed to environmental dangers have healthy children.  A lot of health is beyond our control, so we can just try our best and have faith that we will be dealt what we are capable of managing. 
Also, it is easy to sit here and tell someone else what they must do when they are pregnant.  I don't smoke, but could I give up caffeine for 9 months?  Cold cuts?  Sushi? 

Sharing the News

Announcing you are pregnant is usually met with congratulations and joy (unless of course you are too young or didn't intend on getting pregnant.)  Announcing to people that you are going adopt isn't always met the same way.
I was reading You Can Adopt! by the authors of Adoptive Families Magazine, and they said most people respond in one of two ways- they either share that they were adopted or have adopted, or tell you something about adoption, though they have no first hand experience with it, which can often be unkind.  I don't think most people mean to be unkind, but someone sharing that they have started the adoption process should be celebrated- its a joyful moment.
The first person I told was my friend Mary because I knew she would be supportive, and she was.  I'm glad I told her first, it gave me the confidence to tell others who wouldn't be so welcoming.  I told her that my husband and I were thinking about adoption, she said "are you going to adopt from Bulgaria?"  She thought we would look into Bulgarian adoption because our connections to that country.  She was happy and excited for us.  Our families were supportive too, my husband mother said she would "love an adopted grandkid just as much as a biological one."
Other people's response isn't so kind.  They often respond by saying "why don't you adopt from America, there are perfectly good kids here."  That's true, and I hope they find forever families.  I don't want American kids, or any children to lose their parents or be born into an unsafe or unloving home- but we can't adopt them all.  We are considering fostering to adopt, just because we adopt one child from Bulgaria, doesn't mean we have ruled all other possibilities out.
Other people say "if I couldn't have kids, I would adopt one with disabilities."  You can still adopt children even if you can and do have your own.  We aren't ruling out all children with disabilities, we know what we can manage and certain disabilities would be beyond our capabilities.  For instance, our house is not accessible by wheelchair and we both need to work, so we can't provide adequate care for a child who needs constant monitoring.  Of course, like with pregnancy, you can't predict what a child will develop as he or she grows up, but we can only address that situation when it arises. 
Part of my motivation for writing this blog is to show people what the adoption process is like, and maybe inspire a few to adopt.  We aren't adopting to "save" a child, we want to have a family and this is the best way for us to do it. 

Abilities and Disabilities

When you have a child, you don't get to decide what disabilities you'd be able to manage.  I think that's what I find so strange about completing the adoption applications.  What types of disabilities would you open to when adopting a child? 
I was thinking about this the other day when I was babysitting 7 year old twins.  Both were born healthy, but back in October the little girl was in an accident.  She was always the leader, after school she would organize games on the playground, even when she was the kindergartner and there were much older kids around.  She was determined to always be first or the only kindergartner to accomplish something.  She could climb to the very top of the big climbing net at the school, fly her kite on hot muggy, windless days. 
Last October her leg was crushed at an outdoor event by scaffolding that collapsed.  For months she was in the hospital, she was moved to Children's in DC for the pediatric specialist.  The doctors did a dozen operations to save her leg, but finally in February, right before her 7th birthday, her leg was amputated midway down the shin.  I saw her shortly after that operation, on her birthday.  She was cheerful, chatty and boasted "I'm off antibiotics."  She hopped around and used crutches, determined to do things on her own.  She traveled to New York and Philadelphia to get a prostethic and for physical therapy to learn to walk on it. 
Last week when I saw her, she back to her old self.  Running around on the playground, organizing games with the other kids.  It is amazing to see how resilient and happy she is.  She is healthy, and excited to be back with her friends. 
The prosthesis is amazing too.  She can walk, climb, run - even ice skate.  If she was wearing pants, you could never tell that anything was different- there is no discernable change in her gait.  Instead of making it look like skin, it has a pink and grey pattern.  She told me she could get it with tye die or peace signs, but she choose the pink and grey swirls.  Sometimes the other kids ask her how long she has to wear the "cast" and she simply tells them "forever." 
Before visiting with her last week, I was doubtful we could manage a child with a mobility disability.  We have steep steps to get into our house and no bathroom on the first floor.  I think it would be a challenge to have a child who is unable to get around without a wheelchair, but with the advances in medical technology available in the United States, most missing limbs or limb deficiencies can have minimal impact on a child's mobility. 

House Updates

We moved into this house last May.  It needed, and still needs a lot of work.  We've been making some updates so we'll be ready for our home study.  I want to have things more in order so the social worker doesn't think that I think this house is ready for a child- we're working on it.  Chris has the main bathroom nearly ready, the windows are scheduled to be replaced sometime this month.  We've added a tree and rain barrel in the backyard.   We have a grant from the Chesapeake Bay Foundation to tear up the impervious surfaces in the backyard and landscape more conducive to the climate.
Here is the little one's room before:

It was a weird mango color.  The door to the former sleeping porch- now a fully enclosed room was missing and the window that led into that room was painted stuck half open.  You can't see the light fixture, but the glass in it was missing. 
We don't know yet if our little one will be a girl or boy, or even how old s/he will be so we wanted to keep the room neutral.   Right now there is a low full sized bed, because we don't know yet if we'll need a twin, a toddler bed or a crib.  When we know the gender, we can decorate more appropriately.
This isn't the finished product, but here's where its at now:

I'll have to look more for the pictures that show the other view, you can't see the dresser from this angle.  Chris got the window frame unstuck, now he's ordered new glass.  I want to get a bigger, soft rug because kids like to play on the floor and a desk for homework, but this is a start. 
Last weekend we picked up a new ceiling fan at home depot and a door from the Community Forklift.
We have a long list of projects, but at least we have a good start on this one. 
The next project will either be the backyard or the family room.

Bulgarish-American Wedding

This weekend we went to a wedding in the Shenandoah Valley.  The groom is also a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer (RPCV) from Bulgaria.  It was great to see old friends, some of whom we hadn't seen since we left.  It was a beautiful setting, the ceremony was in a garden of an old manor house, with the reception under a big tent.
The couple decided to include a few Bulgarian traditions: The bride and groom tore a loaf of bread.  The tradition is the couple is given a whole loaf of bread to tear in half, and the spouse with the larger half is the "boss."  It came as no surprise that the bride walked away with about 3/4 of that loaf.
The other tradition done at all Bulgarian occasions- weddings, school parties, office parties, even in a pub in the evening was to dance the horo.  The horo is any number of dances where everyone holds hands and dances together, similar to the Greek, Hora.  Sounds simple enough, but some of them are really tricky.  Most Bulgarian kids take tanz, dance, in grade school and I had the oppurtunity to take a course while I was there.  Here's one of the easier horos.  Byala Roza or White Rose.  Its usually 6 steps to your left with a foot touch- Bulgarians swear its not a kick, merely touch your foot out, but don't touch the ground.  Then 2 steps back, with a foot touch.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

I like this youtube series for learning the horo, its in Bulgarian but they demonstrate each step:
Elenino Horo

The Road to Adoption

The decision to adopt wasn't something we decided today or at any one time really.  My husband and I met when we were Peace Corps Volunteers in Bulgaria.  I worked in the orphanage for children with disabilities and children under 4, what Bulgarians call a "Baby Home."  We always thought we'd have one and adopt one.  Things don't always go as planned.  Now we are thinking "we'll adopt one (or two) and see what happens." 
The decision to adopt from Bulgaria was an easy one.  We know the country, we speak the language, and we can help the child get accostumed to American culture and language. 

Getting started isn't so easy.  I never realized that even choosing your adoption agency is a big step.  I found help from other parents going through the process.  We got lots of recommendations for agencies and some ideas in what to look for.  Probably the most important tip we have received so far was to check the agency's finances.  Every non profit has to file a 990 tax form which is available on guidestar.com.   You can request an agency's Annual Report- this would be that "not so easy" part.  We have one agency that hasn't even gotten back to us now over a month later after submitting a request on their website and trying their number, another agency giving us the run around on the annual report and a whole pile of agencies in the not a chance pile after seeing their financials.  I am no financial expert, but I happen to have a sister who is an auditor.  
Apart from finances, I want to make sure the agency has a good reputation and that previous parents were happy with the process.  It is important that the agency has a good and reputable partnership with a Bulgarian agency, answers e-mails quickly, is upfront about the costs and what is expected of the parents and has a professional staff.  Bulgarian adoption is a long process, they say 18 months to 2 years, but many people report it taking much longer than that.  We are in no hurry, but we don't want the agency slowing the process down on their side. 
Otherwise, Bulgaria is a Hague treaty country, which was enacted to protect children from traffickers.  It protects the parents too, by making sure agency are properly accredited.  The process is lined out for you from the beginning, and as long as all your ducks are in a row, everything will go as planned!
This is my first time through the adoption process and I found this checklist to be really helpful: http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/AdoptionPlanner.pdf.


I guess the clock officially begins today: June 9th day 1 in our adoption journey!