One Year Ago

Last October on a Friday afternoon I got that call...
I honestly hadn't been preoccupied with work and getting our documents together.  We were still preparing our dossier for Bulgaria.  There were still a few more documents to track down before we sent it out to Children's House.  They would then send it to be translated and then we would begin to wait for the MOJ. 
Only, it didn't happen that way.
Chris had the car.  He had gone to the mountains to go climbing with some friends.  It was Columbus Day weekend and they had 3 days off work.  I was getting a ride home with a collegue.  My phone rings.
"Can we send you a picture?  I know you have a strong connection to Bulgaria- but would you consider this little one?"
A girl..from Hungary.. this was rare.  There are more boys in orphanages around the world and Hungary only did 4 adoptions to the United States in 2011 (the latest information available to me at the time).
I had to track down Chris- no cell phone service, no land line to reach him at. 
I opened my e-mail and saw this smiling face.

And the rest is history.

6 months home

Well, if I'm honest 6 1/2 months.  I've been meaning to write this post.
Gabriella came home a tiny 3 year old.  She weighed just 25lbs and was just over 32 inches tall, barely wearing 18 months clothing.  Her hair was short and thin- you would need 4 rubber bands just to pull it away from her face.  She only ate pickled vegetables, white bread and lunch meats.  Her gross motor- walking, climbing, was immature, her attention span was no more than ninety seconds.  She couldn't speak more than 30 words in her native language.  The American doctors had warned us- "she's frenetic," "she won't catch up to her peers."
In the past 6 months, Gabriella has soared.  She has grown to 36 inches, 28 lbs she's wearing a 2T.  She has successfully potty trained, no longer even needing diapers for car rides or naps.  Her hair has grown so long to fit into just one ponytail.  She has tried many new foods.  She loves yogurt, bananas, she will even willing eat green beans.  She can look at books, puzzles or play with her toys on her own for extended periods.  She runs, climbs, swings, slides and bounces with the other children at the parks.  She speaks in complete sentences, she knows hundreds of words.  She loves and is caring towards animals. 
Gabriella has gone through a lot since she's been home.  But the biggest challenge was the eye surgery.  Gabriella has strabimus, in both eyes.  They would wander, mostly turning inward.  The doctor told us, remember surgery does not correct vision- it will just correct alignment.  A few weeks later, at her post operative appointment, her vision was checked- and it has corrected.  Her brain had "turned off" her left eye because the signals it was getting were too poor.  Now Gabriella's brain has adjusted and she no longer needs glasses.
Gabriella was born too premature, her survival is a testament to the Hungarian Medical system - even a little, rural hospital can save a baby that came into the world just over one pound, but mostly to her own spirit.  She is a fighter.  Nothing can hold this little peanut back.  Gabriella is a joyful child.  She brings happiness to everyone she meets.  I can't remember- I don't want to remember what our life was like before she came. 

Gabriella spent her summer enjoying the New England heat wave

cherry blossoms!

loves her music

after the surgery, she no longer needs glasses

yogurt, maybe calcium isn't so bad

first carousel ride

before the surgery, glasses and patches

this was taken on the anniversary of 6 months home

Introducing...

Gabriella Christine!

It's official

Friday we had our court date, it's official this peanut is ours! Th thirty day period was up and the courts decision was in our favor.  We then trekked back to the birth village for the new birth certificate with anticipated difficulty, apparently the woman in that office is notorious for being difficult.  Then 3 hours to Budapest to the passport office.  That wasn't too bad thanks to our facilitator.  Tomorrow is the appointment with the embassy the we can go home!

Little trip

This week we took a little trip to Pecs (which is pronounced more like Paige).  It's a rough guides don't miss top pick and a European cultural capital this year.  It's totally worth a visit.  We took the train down from Budapest.  Hungarian trains are very nice, some even have wifi.  They are  much cheaper than trains in the states and not only does your child under 6 travel free, the parents get a family discount.  So it's cheaper than 2 adults traveling alone.
In Pecs, there are many international people due to the large university with classes in english.  We met an American-Hungarian family with a few biological kids and an adopted one about our peanuts age.  Our little lady had a blast playing with the kids- they had all kinds of cool toys like a play kitchen and doll stroller that were big hits.  But the best part was the piano, I have never seen her so engaged for such an extended period of time.  No I take that back, best part was the girls, our little one loves to play with bigger girls, and they had 2 a bit older than her.  It was nice for us parents to be able to talk to someone else too.
We've got some busy days ahead of us, might not post for a while.  We have to get the Hungarian courts decision from the regional government seat and the updated birth certificate from. The birth village.  The it's off the embassy for all the documents to return home.  We will be home in 1 week!

Home in 2 weeks

I can't believe we will be home in 2 weeks!  We went to the aquarium today bit of a trek and we had bad directions, but it was worth it.  An amazing glass tunnel you can walk through with sharks and sting rays directly over head.  I would add a photo but apparently blogger only has an android app.

2 weeks

It has been 2 weeks since we were given custody.  3 weeks exactly until we go home.
We've been getting a bit a cabin fever here.  The weather has been cold and we haven't had much to do.  Thanks to some other adoptive families here in Hungary, we've found ways to occupy our time.
I never thought staying home with a kid would be difficult, in fact I'd hoped to do it.  But spending 24/7 in the apartment with no contacts over here is a little daunting.
We've put the baby on a schedule.  In the foster home she just did as she pleased.  She has had no enrichment- she doesn't know her colors, numbers, body parts, animals, etc- not in Hungarian.
So our schedule, to keep us all occupied goes like this:
Wake ip and breakfast.  Followed by songs and finger plays with daddy while mommy goes to the gym.  We found a gym that you can buy a 10 visit pass for 6500 forints about $25.  Daddy does snack.  Mommy comes home we all do lunch.  Then nap.  Daddy goes to th gym or to the cafe to do we work.  Wake up, snack.  Then outside to the park or if it's cold walk th baby around the mall.  
Then arts and crafts.  Cutting, pasting, painting, coloring, matching shapes, etc.  then while we make dinner baby watches tv.  Sometimes we let her watch Hungarian cartoons to get a brak from all th English.  Being surrounded by a new language can be exhaust, otherwise she watches videos we uploaded to the iPad for her.  
The first few days we ft a lot of eye rolling and shed just walk away when we tried to engage her, but she's caught o. That she isn't in charge.  She knows and loves itsy bitty spider and head shoulders.  Already she knows more colors and body parts in English and is learning the animal sounds and names.

Juice cleanse ended, baby feeling better, mommy and daddy sick

After 48 hours the baby ended her self imposed juice cleanse.  She only ate bananas and juice for 2 days, but pizza challenged her resolve.  She is back to eating nearly everything. And like a true eastern European her favorit foods are pickled things and extruded meats ( like salami).  I hope this horse meat scandal in Europe does t affect Hungary.
I also caught the bug she had but am mostly over it and so did Chris.  We had known there is. I OTC medicine in Hungary that contains any actual medicine.  We packed Tylenol for us and the baby, but I should have packed pedialyte.  And a medicine dropper.

Quick update

We are in Budapest now, but no internet in the apartment.  So we are at a coffee shop with Internet.  The peanut caught the virus the other foster kids had.  Yesterday was rough, we had to go to the hospital for blod screenings to complete the adopts paperwork.  It was awful, they took 3 voles of blood from a 26 lb baby.  They made Chris hold her down , great for attachment.  On top of that she was running a fever of 100.  The doctor gave us some prescriptions, because even Tylenol is not OTC here.  Luckily she's been in a good mood, and she knows to keep her mouth closed for the thermometer though it's tricky to get it under her tongue.  Getting the cough syrup in is another story. Poor baby, we've been watching cartoons and playing play dough all day.  The toughest part is eating.  We don't know if she isn't hungry, doesn't like what we feed her or if she is refusing as a power struggle.  This morning was a bit better, so I think she just was feeling crumby.

Birthday and custody day!

Today is our pumpkin's third birthday.  It is also the day we got custody.
Yesterday was our last visit to the village.  The foster mother had planned a birthday party, but many of the friends and the other children in the home came down with the flu.  We were concerned about our pumpkin, because the transition is hard enough without feeling crummy.  She seems to have avoided it, the benefits of not going to daycare.  So we had a simple lunch with just us, her, the foster mother and translator.  She made an amazing cake, she's a semi- professional cake maker.  Her foster mother got her a Dora the Explorer backpack.  That will be perfect for the flight.
The foster mother showed us she had things to give us for the peanut.  It was a lot of clothes and toys.  We didn't want to take anything from her because we know it will be put to good use there.  As we looked through photos on Sunday, we could see the older two girls both at times wearing the winter coat our peanut was wearing.  But the foster mother was insistent.  Apparently, shes trying to clear out a bit.  Her husband's job has him across the country, so they are trying to sell their home to join him.  She ended up giving us tons of stuff, more than we had even packed for her.  I don't know how it's all a going to fit in the car or on the plane.

Today we met with our translator and went to th regional office of children's welfare.  The foster mother brought in the pumpkin.  That was rough.  She was emotional and so was the pumpkin.  Some forms were signed and we left with her.  She cried a bit.  She calmed down looking at dr. Seuss abc.  She likes the b page.  Then we had to do the passport photos.  That was difficult.  She was scared because it was a new place.  We had to have a photo of her looking into the camera with her mouth closed.  The photographers were great.  Very patient, and it did t take them long.  You can't even tell she was crying in the photo.  Then off to another office, I think it was the courts.  There was an advocat for the child, the social worker, the representative from children's welfare, the translator and us.  The pumpkin was incredible well behaved.  She colored and looked at her dr Seuss book.  That took an hour or more.  We were finally free.  By then it was nearly 3 pm and she hadn't eaten or napped.  We went back to th hotel, changed her diaper and put her down.  She was exhausted, but we could t let her sleep too long if she was going to sleep through the night.  We got her up at 4 and took a walk to a playground.  She looked like a baba sitting in the stroller- bundled up with a knit blanket across her knees, and those glasses.  We grabbed a quick bite, and realized we were novice parents- we hadn't brought a sippy cup.  She did drink juice through a straw when we held the cup for her.  We came to th hotel, had a quick bath, put on pjs and FaceTime with family.  She made grandmas day when she kissed the screen.  We read goodnight moon and she went to be rather easily.
Tomorrows a big day, we need to leave here at 7 am to make it to our embassy appointment on time. I hear it always takes longer to get ready with a toddler around, and this will be our first full day together.  Chris is packing up the car tonight.  Knock on wood and thumbs in my fist that everything goes smoothly.
I have t figured out how to add photos on the iPad and we can't upload photos of her anyway, I'll try to get on a computer next week.

Visiting with the foster family

Day 4 and 5 were exhausting!  We visited with the foster family, but it was the weekend so all the children were there.  It must be very difficult for them.  They will miss their little foster sister, but they also feel sorry that they aren't getting adopted.  The oldest child is the family's biological daughter, and sweet girl.  She helps her mom prepare meals and look after the younger ones.  She is very good at distracting and redirecting the younger children.  The next oldest child is a beautiful little girl.  She's sweet and smart and completely healthy.  She's lived with the family for more than 3 years, I hope she is able to find a permanent family soon.  The next child is a little boy, recently placed with the family.  His mother got sick and was unable to care for him, so they are sorting out his legal status as far as whether he can become available for adoption.  Like our daughter, he is Roma.  He is a healthy and active little guy.
With all the kids around, our little one gets overstimulated.  She never gets her naps on the weekends because of all the activity.  She was exhausted when we left today.  Tomorrow is Monday and her last full day with the foster family.  They are throwing a little birthday part, her birthday is Tuesday.  Tuesday, the social worker drives her to th regional office and the documents are signed to give us temporary custody.  Then we are off to th embassy.
Our translator keeps saying, don't worry she'll forget the foster mother.  But we do t want to forgt the foster mother.  She has been so kind and caring to all the children.  Today she gave us dozens of digital pictures on a flash drive we brought.  We'll be able to our pumpkin pictures from when she was a baby and the other children who played such a large role in her life.
Sorry for all the typos, I'm typing o  a tablet :)

Day 3

Another busy one, just a few more days until we have custody!
We started the day by going to the regional ministry of child welfare and meeting with the social worker to sign some documents.  Then, back out to the village, even though we took the highway, it still took 1 hour and 30 minutes.  The plan for today was to pick her up and take her out, without the foster mother.  The translator decided we should go to Tesco which is like British Walmart.  The car ride there went smoothly, she slept most of the way.  We pushed her in the stroller around Tesco.  It was a little odd, we felt obligated to buy her something, though we didn't need anything at the moment.  We bought her a packet of hair clips with flowers on them and toy cookware.  The trip back was fine, she stayed awake but traveled easily.  When we got back we played with the new cookware, which was a hit.  She pretended to cook me something and I pretended it was too hot when she gave it to me.  Later the foster mother called us in for lunch and she pretended that it was too hot saying "hot, hot, hot" in English.  We played some more until nap time, then it was time for us to go.
This evening, we went to one of the mineral baths in the town we are staying.  It was nice, clean and fun.  I was remarking how nice that all the tile is nonslip on the pool decks, but managed to slip and whack my head on one of the slides.  I put a nice gash between my eyes, and head wounds bleed a lot.  Still waiting to see if I'm going to have a black eye or two.  The life guards taped me up, but it was too late this evening to find a pharmacy that's open for butterfly closures or at least more tape to change the bandage.
Hopefully my new look doesn't scare her and she still recognizes me without my glasses.

We made it!

Tuesday, around midnight we made it to our hotel after 28 hours of travel.  Luckily we arrived without a problem and so did our luggage.  Though the knob that releases the shoulder restraints on the carseat did not make it, but we can still make it work.

We are no longer "light" travelers

Wednesday morning we met with the our translator and facilitator.  They brought us to the minister of child welfare for the region for a brief meeting.  Then we were allowed to go visit our daughter.
The drive to the village was predicted to be 1 hour and a half, but just 2 weeks ago a new highway was completed- reducing the driving time to just 1 hour. 

We can't even explain what it was like seeing our daughter for the first time.  She clung to the foster mother for the first hour or so, then she warmed up to us.  She really warmed up to us after Chris pretended to ride away on her rocking horse.  By the time we left Wednesday, she was giving us kisses.  (We can't share photos here, but we have been able to Skype with our families)
We are grateful she was in such a loving foster home.  The family doesn't have much, but they really care for the children.  She also has access to good nutrition.  We had sent her gifts are Christmas, and we've heard stories of families arriving to see all that they sent the child still in its packaging.  We can gladly say this is not the case- the coloring book was used, the crayons, the stuffed puppy and the children's CDs- all loved by a 2 1/2 year old.  We had sent a book of photos and the foster mother had taught her to say "mommy" and "daddy" in English. 
Today, we got to visit with her again.  We had to take her to the local doctor to get all her files (she is now 12 kg and 83 cm!) But she was not pleased- she remembered the last time she was there- they drew blood.  The doctor was great and even spoke a bit of English.  Everything was in order and she traveled beautifully in the car seat for the first time. 
Tomorrow we are taking her to the nearest town to pick up some items and to practice riding in the car and stroller. 
We had heard that children, especially from orphanages, are sent with nothing- but her foster mother has packed a bag of her favorite items.  She has been so blessed, her foster mother is amazing.  She is definitely attached to her and leaving with be difficult.  But the foster mother has been careful to encourage our daughter to sit next to us, and go to us to be picked up while we are there. 
The translator and facilitator have been very helpful.  The facilitator has been doing this for 10+ years and knows exactly what needs to be done.  He is careful to prepare and have everything in order before it is needed.  He was able to arrange everything for our consulate visit next Wednesday.
Tuesday is our little one's birthday and it will also be the first day she is our custody!

Grown Ups

It's funny how you never feel like a grown up.  I remember when I realized I was one- I was 27 at the time.  I had already been working in schools for 3+ years at that point.  There was a fire drill, we all exited the building, and one first grader said to a friend: "how come all the grown ups are always outside first?"  I remember thinking, "oops, where am I supposed to be?" before realizing, that I was (of course) the grown up to which he was referring. 
We leave tomorrow to pick up our daughter, and I can't help thinking "are we old enough to do this?"
Chris also expressed he couldn't believe they were letting us do this, do they even know who we are?  We are meeting our daughter for the first time exactly 6 months before my 30th birthday, that's surely old enough, right?

Last Day of Work

Friday was the last day of work for both Chris and I- well I should say "paid work"- as our friend reminded us we won't be at our jobs but this is certainly not a vacation ;-)
Big changes for both us.  Chris will be on a new assignment when he comes back, and I won't be going back to work for 3 months.  It was difficult for me to explain to the students where I'll be going.

Here are some exchanges I've had in the past few days:
"I'm going to Hungary..."---"that must be near Turkey."
"I'm leaving for 12 weeks"---"Why 12 weeks?"  How do you explain that's how long FMLA is to a 1st grader?
"I'm adopting a little girl"--- "Good, because boys are crazy"- surprisingly from the sweetest little boy, who is not at all crazy, maybe he's got a little brother.
"I'm going to be gone for 3 months..."- "You get 3 months off school for adopting a baby, I'm going to do that!"
"I'm leaving because I am adopting a little girl"--- "That's the best reason!" awww ;-)

Just 2 make my last week a little sweeter- 2 hour snow delay on Thursday and 2 hour early release due to inclement weather on Friday.

In 7 days...

In just 7 days, everything will change.  We'll be driving through the Hungarian country side en route to our little pumpkin's orphanage.
All the preparations will have been worth it.  We've been busy studying Hungarian with Simon and Schuster's Pimsleur CD's (so much easier than "Teach Yourself" or Rosetta Stone series).  I even got the "Little Pim" DVD's for our peanut to learn some English. 
We're still busy with preparations, but our to-do list is shrinking.  All the child locks are on and gates are up- and my 2 year old nephew dropped in Saturday to test them all out.  (And to prepare our cat for some major life changes :)  I still need to have the car seat checked, pick up a gift for our translator, and finish packing, oh and do laundry...  But some friends will be staying over our house while we are gone to keep an eye on things and feed the cats while their kitchen is remodeled.

I keep hearing "are you ready," and I don't know how to answer it.  Can you ever be ready?  "We are prepared" I say.
 

2 weeks!

14 days until our flight takes off
15 days until we land in Hungary
16 days until we meet our daughter
23 days until we have custody
56 days until she's legally our little girl
59 days until home forever!

Happy New Year and Adoption Tax Credit Extended!

We are traveling in just 3 weeks to get our sweet little one! 
For Christmas, we wanted to keep it low key.  We've been so busy lately with Home Depot and Ikea runs, it was nice to take a break.  During our house fire and subsequent, we accumulated thousands of hotel loyalty points.  We booked a trip to Mexico before we had the referral.  It worked out perfectly, though, it was our babymoon :)  We had a relaxing vacation and told all the families to skip the gifts.  We sent both grandparents a Hungarian house blesssing Christmas ornament:

Available here: http://magyarmarketing.com/category/holidays

And the 4 grandparents-to-be got to together and gave us our very own iPad.  (Which is awesome, by the way!)


But the best news is the adoption tax credit was extended in the "fiscal cliff" deal.  You can read more about it: http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2013/01/04/cliff-deal-made-adoption-tax-credit-permanent.html

 There have been some changes, but as it stands now, though no longer refundable- families that earn less than $150,000 can claim the full $10,000.  This is the best Christmas gift for families and children in the United States.  This helps put adoption back into reach for many families.